As I sit here in rural retreat, connecting to the world through my iBook, I can’t help but be amazed by New Labour’s steady transformation into a John Major tribute band.

Shock! John �shagger� Prescott becomes a David Mellor for the 21st Century.

Horror! As inept government ministers are too busy attacking the press to notice the hundreds of convicted serious criminals roaming the streets instead of being deported.

Amazement! As nurses don’t buy what’s being told to them by the health minister.

My sympathy goes out to any Labour party activists on the ground, trying to drum up support for next week’s elections. Their nominal leaders seem to be determined to make their lives very, very hard.

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